Monday, March 1, 2010

So, uh... Not sure..

Okay, so I look at all my friends, and I see promise, I can see how they will do well, how people will like them, how people of the opposite gender will like them (Or the same gender, if they are into it).

So why is it so hard for me to look at myself in the same way? I try so hard, and I've not been able to think that in quite a while. I suppose due to the way I've been depressed, and bored, my mind is stuck on subjects that wont let me just rest. *sigh*

"People will love you for who you are, don't change into another person to fit someone else's wishes, because then you wont be happy."

Yet, I am having trouble believing that anyone would fall for me now. Sure people did before, but the older you get, the higher are people's standards, and I feel I simply do not live up to anyone's standards at the age I am.

"You're beautiful" "You're a nice person" "You're awesome"

Well, for the first one, I don't know what to think. I've never really heard this from anyone except my parents. And even if it's true, what's it done for me? pfft.

For the second, I have found it hard to believe, because I keep ending up hurting people despite my best efforts to not do as such. I wish I knew how some people pull of being so nice...

For the third, again, I have to say, it doesn't really get me anywhere. Yay, I am supposedly awesome.

And Single.

Awkward to talk to sometimes.

Not very interesting.

Difficult to have deep conversations with.

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