I think I need to change

Okay, so seriously, it's been half of forever since I wrote anything blog like, and half again forever to the third power since I wrote one I shared with anyone/and or even saved.

I am doing.. I would say well, but to be honest, I don't even fully know.

Backstory: I had been feeling pretty down about being single, that's normal, I however use any negative feelings as a gateway drug to start thinking of much more negative things, so I was basically caught in the in ditch of depressed thoughts that my mind creates.

Then I get a revelation, while I had thought about it before, it didn't click exactly until then though. I need to change, as much as I hate it... I know, I don't like trying new things, I am unbelievably shy in some ways, this included. I know I can do it, and I don't want anyone to push me, but I am having trouble testing the waters myself.

I think the realization came the same day as something else. That day, I felt really awful mentally, then I started to feel sick physically, and learned that someone that I was starting to crush on was going out with someone. All in all, probably not the best day.

So, yes, I know I need to change, it's just stepping that's the issue. :P

/rant rant /blog blog