This site makes me very, very happy.

http://hackedirl.com/

I love this picture

Personal thought and instinct?

Okay, so I've been single for over a year, and it's obviously getting to me, in both a personal way, and an instinctual way.

I feel like my body is telling me "Yo, go find a girl" and my mind is telling me "Man, for your own good, it would be nice to have someone lie on, and snuggle with"

For a long time I've felt that surrendering to instinct is a sign that you don't have the brainpower to adhere to reason, and logic.

Maybe I really was more lost then I thought I was though. People are people, and it's only natural to follow instinct sometimes, even if you need to keep rational thought in mind.

Also, I think I need to chill the fuck out sometimes.

And absolutely no one was watching...

…

Blarg

flabasgastingstupifuldargnabbit.

That one question...

While I tend to be pretty deep thought, and counter-mainstream, everyone has a few spots about them..

I have this one question, that, if I say it aloud or read it in my head, it feels so painfully mainstream, and not me. Yet it still stays in my head...

"Would you still hang out with me if it weren't for my company?" The question if people would still even want to hang out with me, if it weren't for where I live, what I own, and the people around me.

I almost don't want to know the answer to that question though.

I know that people really care about me, and probably would hang out with me no matter what, but it's just one of those stupid things that bothers me when it shouldn't.

So, uh... Not sure..

Okay, so I look at all my friends, and I see promise, I can see how they will do well, how people will like them, how people of the opposite gender will like them (Or the same gender, if they are into it).

So why is it so hard for me to look at myself in the same way? I try so hard, and I've not been able to think that in quite a while. I suppose due to the way I've been depressed, and bored, my mind is stuck on subjects that wont let me just rest. *sigh*

"People will love you for who you are, don't change into another person to fit someone else's wishes, because then you wont be happy."

Yet, I am having trouble believing that anyone would fall for me now. Sure people did before, but the older you get, the higher are people's standards, and I feel I simply do not live up to anyone's standards at the age I am.

"You're beautiful" "You're a nice person" "You're awesome"

Well, for the first one, I don't know what to think. I've never really heard this from anyone except my parents. And even if it's true, what's it done for me? pfft.

For the second, I have found it hard to believe, because I keep ending up hurting people despite my best efforts to not do as such. I wish I knew how some people pull of being so nice...

For the third, again, I have to say, it doesn't really get me anywhere. Yay, I am supposedly awesome.

And Single.

Awkward to talk to sometimes.

Not very interesting.

Difficult to have deep conversations with.